News Quickies

Here’s my wrap up of news stories that are happening now:

LeBron James’ mother, Gloria James, was arrested this morning in Miami Beach for battery and disorderly intoxication. The incident happened while the 43-year-old basketball mom was waiting for the valet to bring her car. That’s when sources say James became enraged because she thought she was forced to wait too long for her car. She ultimately slapped valet Rockfeller Sorel so hard, she fell to the ground. Insiders say they’re not surprised by this news, because I’m told Gloria gets quite bold when she’s drunk. Don’t believe me? Ask Delonte West.

Funkmaster Flex’s wife, Monica Joseph Taylor, has announced that she’s leaving the Hot 97 DJ for good. I must wonder, why? Is it because Monica is tired of her husband beating on her? Does Monica believe Power 105′s Charlemagne really does have strange photos of her now soon-to-be ex-husband? I don’t know, but I do know Funkmaster Flex is good friends with Miser Cee, AND birds of a feather DO flock together! Continue Reading…

Celine Dion is having her second child at 41yrs old with her predator husband Rene Angelil. How can this old ass couple still have babies? Fertility treatments of course. Isn’t Celine Dion a ugly old white woman? Oh yes she is, don’t lie. I think she should fix her nose. Don’t you?

George Lopez buried his grandmother without telling his relatives, and guess what? His relatives are totally pissed mane. I wonder why George would do such a thing. Maybe George didn’t want to hear his relatives financial problems? I’m sure it’s hard for George’s relatives to get him on the telephone. Know why? ‘Cuz they probably always calling to borrow cash mane.

It’s Wednesday and I’m heading to the gym.

Gotta Go…

-Guru Jacky

Estelle is saying Rihanna is jacking her style. I don’t think this Estelle chic likes Rihanna too much. Know why?
Estelle thinks she’s a way better singer than Rihanna! Estelle wanted to be in the new super group with Jay  Z and Kanye.

She doesn’t see why Rihanna has that role and I must say. Estelle is a way better singer but Rihanna is much more popular.

Estelle honey, they don’t care about talent they only care about who’s popular and I thought you knew this mane.
Ciara got kicked off the Britney Spears tour and she was replaced by Jordan “Fatso” Sparks.

People are calling Ciara washed up but I don’t believe so. Know what I think? Ciara is performing and working too hard for the wrong marketplace! First and foremost her record label Jive, sucks. That label is totally out-dated they don’t know how to sell and break new products. Continue Reading…

Michael and Dina Lohan are back together as friends or lovers? This could be really good for Lindsey and the rest of the family…This couple is now attending concerts together with their other children Ali and Cody. They did all this without going to see Dr. Phil and I’m totally shocked. Aren’t you?

Rick Ross is rumored to be having a helping hand in the death of journalist Samuel Ferguson.

Samuel was the reporter who outed Rick Ross. In other words Samuel exposed officer Ricky’s past to the whole world. If it wasn’t for Samuel Ferguson we all wouldn’t have known that the tough guy rapper Rick Ross was a correctional officer!

Let’s remember what Rick said when Samuel Ferguson exposed him.

“Ferguson is a liar, he’s an informant, he’s a rat, he’s a bitch. Nigga’s know how we play. This shit is about to get deeper than rap.” Continue Reading…

Why is Jamie taking pictures with his camera phone butt ass naked? That’s how Soulja Boy and guys like Bow Wow get down. Does Jamie Foxx really need to send chicks naked photos to get some in return? Not very good game Jamie. Don’t believe me. Ask Raz- B?

Michael Vick is back in the NFL and he’ll be playing for the Philadelphia Eagles. Guess what? White people are totally pissed off. Some are even returning their season tickets! If Michael Vick comes on the field and doesn’t perform well the fans will eat him alive. He better be a winner.” Run Nigger Run” it’s actually a novel by Harold Beaver.

Some television company got at my manager this week and pitched us a reality show starring me Jacky. Guess what? We turned it down. I’m not doing reality television that’s like using auto-tune in the music business. Continue Reading…