2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Bill O’Reilly paired up with Lionel Richie to brainstorm ideas before coming up with a plan to remake “We Are The World” with their own spin called “We Love the Cabin”. Excited O’Reilly immediately began notifying all the acts that they must partake in this recording. Toby Keith was filled with joy, and joined Lionel to write the track. O’Reilly relayed that he would love for them to perform  the soon-to-be smashing hit single this Friday at the Cabin Awards Show.

Larry Elder was spotted riding a turbo segway on interstate-10 leaving Hollywood for a place where he knows that he belongs…

Back at the cabin, everyone was gathered in the recording studio as Will I Am suggested all the proceeds from the song be donated to the poor. That’s when O’Reilly walked over to Will I Am’s side. “Listen pinhead this song is my idea, and all the proceeds will go where ever I want it to go,” said O’Reilly. “I suggest we take the money from the song and build more cabins around the United States. And, don’t think that I don’t know about you stealing other peoples material!!!”

Sean Hannity walked over to O’Reilly. “What’s wrong Bill?” Hannity asked. O’Reilly stopped. “Nothing just keep your eyes on Will I AM…he likes to steal songs and I don’t want Lionel and Toby’s song being the next hit single on the Black Eyed Peas album.” O’Reilly said. Continue Reading…

Sounds to HSK like someone might be auditioning for a fox sports commentator job. It’s undeniable that he is surely in their GOOD GRACES for this.

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, heart problems lead to Dick Cheney being rushed to the cabin’s hospital, while Donald Rumsfeld blamed the situation on correctional officer Rick Ross because he was sleeping on the job. Cheney’s heart scare happened while he was on the search for escaped prisoner, Joe Lieberman.

Meanwhile, Oliver North, General Tommy Franks and former CIA director George Tenet were in the cabin’s kitchen, having a discussion about Obama’s presidency, when it was abruptly interrupted by warmonger Rumsfeld. “The kitchen is no place for men of our status, How can you all sit around talking about a failed president when the next president of our great country is in the hospital…Don’t you care,” screamed Rumsfeld. General Tommy Franks got up from his seat and walked over to Rumsfeld. “What do you suggest we do?” asked General Tommy Franks. Rumsfeld looked directly into the eyes of the general. “That lazy correctional officer needs to be punished!” said Runsfeld. George Tenet shouted “Let’s waterboard him!!!”

Mike Strahan was seen in his New York Giants football gear, running through the great state of Texas to a place where he knows that he belongs…

Back at the cabin, Rick Ross remained suited in his correctional officer uniform as he stood before Judge Clarence Thomas. “Why did you fall asleep on your post? Were you smoking that marijuana Kush stuff? You walrus shaped man…do you have anything to say for yourself?” asked Judge Thomas.

Correctional officer Ross bowed his head in shame. “I’m sorry I’ll never fall asleep on the job again,” said Ross. Judge Thomas slammed his gavel on the desk. “Look at me boy, you’re a lazy Negro! But before I sentence you to go back out there and make more recordings that lead black kids astray to become drug dealers, I must sentence you to waterboard torture,” said the judge. That’s when Bill O’Reilly was heard screaming from the crowd, “You’re my favorite Judge, Clarence!”

Meanwhile Michael Strahan was spotted pushing obstacles out of his way and hurdling over barbed wire fences to get to a place where he knows he belongs. A place he won’t hear anything about Black History Month… Continue Reading…

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Bill O’Reilly was gladly undertaking the daunting task sending out invitations to celebrities all over the world, inviting them to the Cabin Award Show set for this Friday February 26th. Suddenly, there was a major disturbance on the cabin’s compound. That’s when rapper Rick Ross was dressed in his correctional officer uniform as he sounded the alarm. Ross’ voice was immediately heard from the cabin’s speakers. “The prisoner has escaped…I repeat the prisoner has escaped!” Ross announced.

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Oliver North all rushed over after grabbing their hunting rifles. Cheney ran over to Glenn Beck. “I need to borrow your porch monkey Wayne Brady…it’s a must,” Dick said. “Rumsfeld, Oliver and I need a tracker to help catch the escaped prisoner!” Beck looked at Cheney. “Wayne’s duty is to help me with all the arriving guest,” Beck said. “It’s better that you to take Cuba Gooding Jr….he has worked with dogs for a long period of time now. Plus, I’ve heard that he’s a better tracker than a bloodhound.” All of a sudden, Warmonger Rumsfeld screamed at Beck, “What are you waiting for go get him, it’s imperative we catch the escaped prisoner, Joe Lieberman, before he makes a phone call and gives away the cabin’s undisclosed location!”

Tina Turner was spotted boarding a turbo jet at London’s Heathrow Airport. She’s was excited to cross the Atlantic ocean to travel to a place where she knows that she belongs… Continue Reading…

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, both the hosts and guests teamed up for their own version of American Idol — “CABIN IDOL” The only difference from American Idol is Cabin Idol’s contestants must all perform in black face, while Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter and Michael Steele judge each performance. Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade hosted the event, and welcomed the first act to hit the stage: Karl Rove and George Bush Jr. (who were dressed as RUN DMC; Karl was RUN and George was DMC), to deliver their rendition of “My Adidas”. The crowd got nutty when George stood in his B-Boy stance while Karl rapped. In the audience – Lou Dobbs suited up as one of “The Fat Boys”, doing the moonwalk, while Donald Rumsfeld walked around the crowd toting an AK-47 and smoking a blunt, like a Los Angeles gang banger.

Meanwhile, Whoopi Goldberg was leaving Los Angeles on Interstate-10. Before she left, she told everyone she knows that she didn’t want to hear anything about black history month. That’s why she said she took off on a turbo moped scooter to go to a place where she knows she belongs…

Back at the cabin, Bill O’Reilly received a standing ovation after he performed his impersonation of Barack Obama. This while Senator Mitt Romney was dressed as MC Hammer, walking around in his droopy Hammer pants and telling people “You Can’t Touch This.” – And, the waiters (T-Pain and Akon) handed out grape Kool Aid to the guests. Continue Reading…

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Bill O’Reilly was on the phone talking to Marvet Britto. “Get down here…No one will know…It’s completely private!” Bill exclaimed. “Plus, you will end up getting more television exposure in the future!” After hanging up the phone, he picked up his favorite book “The Good, The Bad, and the Completely Ridiculous in American Life”. That’s when Fox News contributor, Dennis Miller, walked by. “Hey Bill what’s that you’re reading,” Dennis asked. Bill gently put down the read. “My book you idiot!” Bill screamed.

In New York City, Marvet Britto was spotted getting into a taxi cab heading for JFK International Airport. Marvet was totally excited. Know why? Because she knows she’s going to a place where she belongs mane…

Back at the cabin, Oliver North was seated across from actress Rae Dawn Chong. “In order for you get back into the limelight, you must be more like Hattie McDaniel,” Oliver said. “Now that’s an actress! She was the best and she was the first colored women to win an Oscar…And, she set the stage – Why do you think Halle Berry cried after she received her Oscar?” Rae smiled. “Excuse me Oliver, I’m going to watch Gone With The Wind right now.”

Meanwhile on the Van Wyck expressway, Stephon Marbury’s wife Latasha pulled up beside Marvet’s cab and pointed her TEC-9- pistol, and began shooting at the taxi. Marvet knew that having affairs with married men came with a cost. Her cab began moving at high speed when she kicked the cab door open. That’s when she was greeted by her hero, Captain Save A Hoe “Shaquille O’Neal”, driving his police cruiser. “Help me Shaq, Help me this bitch is trying to kill me!” Marvet screamed. Shaq stretched his right hand like “Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four”, and grabbed Marvet and her luggage out of the taxi, and placed her into his moving police cruiser. “Thanks Shaq, you’re my hero,” hollered Marvet. “Now please get me out of New York…I gotta get to the cabin!” Continue Reading…

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, keynote speaker Sean Hannity was met with an enormous applause, after giving his speech. Dick Cheney was a part of that audience when he was heard telling Michael Steel, “You’re running our good party to the ground, and we all know you’re stealing money. Would you like to go hunting with me?” Before Michael could answer, Bill O’Reilly rudely interrupted the gentlemen. “Come on guys you can’t miss this. Follow me to the ballroom,” O’ Reilly said. “Lionel Richie is playing the piano while James Earl Jones sings Ol’ Man River.”

In Seattle, Amy Holmes was complaining about the marijuana dispensaries. Because Amy couldn’t take it anymore, she has decided to leave the good state of Washington for a place where she knows she belongs.

Back at the cabin, Ann Coulter was delivering her speech and her. “How can this happen?” Ann asked the crowd. “A man who once served Bill Clinton his coffee, is now the president of our great country!” the crowd cheered as they responded with a standing ovation. Continue Reading…