Condoleezza Rice Kicks Off Ladies Week @ Uncle Tom’s Cabin



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Today, the people at Uncle Tom’s Cabin were full of even more excitement than usual, as the men are were elated to have the ladies begin checking in, this morning. Ann Coulter and Laura Bush were two of the first ladies to arrive at the cabin. The festivities are well underway as the two paired up with other high profile republican wives, including Cindy McCain. Fox News anchor Lauren Green and Fox News reporter Shola Olowu were doing a rendition of “The Color Purple”. That’s when Newt Gingrich was overheard telling General Tommy Franks “They’re doing a better job than Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg did.” Toby Keith and Bill O’Reilly were also looking on when they told Harold Ford Jr. “We’re going to play pin the tail on the silly Negro and we chose you to play the Negro!” Bill’s face lit up, “How exciting is that!” O’Reilly exclaimed.

Meanwhile in Alabama, Condoleezza Rice was seated in a limo, en route to Huntsville International Airport…

Back at the cabin, Cindy McCain asked Rush Limbaugh, ” Do you have any OxyContin, Vicodin or any painkillers?” Rush smiled. “Of course I do…meet me in the bathroom,” Rush replied.

In a nearby swamp, Joe Lieberman is being held in a cage. “Let me out!” Joe screamed. “I won’t tell anybody anything about your operation!” Acting cabin correctional officer, Rick Ross, was suited in uniform and gold jewelry as he rushed to the cage. “Shut up Joe!” Rick ordered. “Nobody around here trusts you!”

Condoleeza’s journey was in place as she boarded a jet, flying at the speed of sound. She couldn’t wait to arrive at the cabin, because she knows it’s the place where she most belongs…

Travis McCoy (from the band “Gym Class Heroes”) and Tracy Chapman were back at the cabin, playing skirt cylinder oil drums while singing West Indian slave hymns for Sean Hannity…when suddenly,
acting porch monkey, Wayne Brady, spotted an object falling out of the sky. “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck, something or somebody is arriving!” Wayne announced. Beck looked peered his beady eyes at Wayne. “Go fetch my binoculars boy,” Beck ordered.

On the jet, Condoleeza is bursting with excitement to get to the cabin, so much so that she made the decision to skydive onto the compound…

Beck looked through his binoculars. “Brady…go tell President Bush and Mr. Limbaugh that Condi is here, and is arriving in style,” said Beck. As Condi landed in the nearby cotton patch, Glenn Beck rushed over to greet her, and the pair shook hands. Before Rush could give Condoleeza the plate of foul feet and cornbread, Ann Coulter walked between the two. “Rush give it to me,” Ann demanded. “Let me give her the slop!” Rush looked at Ann, and passed her the plate. After Condi gladly accepted the meal, she walked toward the entrance of the cabin and grabbed an orange Snapple to wash her meal down. “Thanks Ann,” Condoleeza said. Ann smiled and said “Michelle Obama can’t walk in your shoes!”

Can you guess who will be the next female guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in tomorrow to find out mane…