“SHOW ME THE COTTON”, EXCLAIMED CUBA GOODING JR.

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Fox News headquarters, Chris Wallace and Eric Shawn were heading to get some coffee. “Eric, have you ever had sex with a Negro woman?” Chris asked. “Is this a trick question? Because if I were to say yes, and you told Mr. Murdoch, I’ll be instantly fired… so the answer is no. But why do you ask?” Eric replied. Chris smirked. “Well rumor has it that Chinese women have slanted vagina’s, so one must wonder if Negro women have an abnormal vagina,” Chris reasoned. “Lets surf over to O’Reilly’s favorite porn site and find out,” Eric suggested. As the pair each sat in front of their computers, Arthel Neville passed by, pulling her luggage for her weekend retreat. “Hey Arthel, could you come over here and show Chris and I your ass? We’d both like to know if it’s red like a baboon,” Eric said. Both men laughed, catching the attention of John Kasich, who was seated nearby. “Don’t worry fellas,” John said. “She can’t press charges on you for racially motivated harassment. All the colored employees sign off their legal rights as a part of their contracts with FOX NEWS.” Eric took a sip of his coffee. “Rupert Mudoch is a genius,” Eric exclaimed.

Up in Alaska, a man wearing a parka coat is seated in a sled that’s being pulled across the snow by eight huskies, at turbo speed. And, if you guessed that man to be Cuba Gooding Jr., you’re right! Cuba walked off the set of the sequel to the movie “Snow Dogs.” A movie that was paying him $20 million. But, he doesn’t care. Know why? Because to him, the cabin retreat is much more important. Cuba takes his whip to the running dogs. “Faster…faster!” Cuba orders.

Back at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, the celebration is underway. Republican strategist, Ron Christie, is reciting slave poetry to senators Jim Inhofe and Thad Cochran. This while Tyler Perry is doing exactly what he did at the cabin, last year…dressed in drag as Madea, doing cartwheels on the front lawn. Bill O’Reilly is taking in the festivities, with laughter as John McCain takes a seat next to the “O’Reilly Factor” host. “Bill, are you okay?” John asks. “Are you kidding me? This is a slice of heaven! I’m sure this is how it was back in 1700. I never thought I would ever live to see this – Rupert Murdoch is BRILLIANT!” Bill exclaims.

Suddenly, the sound of barking dogs cuts through the noise. Acting porch monkey, Wayne Brady, jumps in excitement. “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck, someone is arriving!” Wayne announced. “Yes I can see that,” Glenn replied. “Now fetch me a glass of lemonade boy, and tell Mr. Limbaugh that Cuba Gooding Jr. is here!” Before Rush could make it to the front door, Cuba pulled up to the cabin.

“Show me the cotton!” Cuba screamed. Beck immediately walked over to the sled to shake hands with Cuba. After, he pointed Cuba in the direction of the cotton fields. Cuba smiled as he set his bulging eyes on the enormous cotton field. That’s when Rush Limbaugh approached the actor. “How great is America?” Rush said, as he handed Cuba a plate of chitlins, mackerel and cornbread…paired with a glass of fruit punch Snapple, to wash it down. “The greatest country in the world Mr. Limbaugh,” Cuba replied as he happily accepted the plate. “Now show me the molasses!”

Can you guess who will be the next guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in tomorrow to find out mane…

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