EARTH TO JACKY: Hoes Aren’t Your Friends

by Jacky Jasper

Hey what happened? Why aren’t some of my girlfriends getting at me? What… I’m not handsome enough? Am I under weight?
Am I a horrible lover? What is it… Maybe it’s because I’m all about me?

Is it because when the chic’s are talking I cut them off and talk all about my accomplishments?

Could it be that I judge them from the low life men they have dated and don’t want my name to be affiliated with such trash?
Most likely they want somethin’ and I do have it but not for them…not even dick.

• Why doesn’t Kelz call me anymore? K: remember when you told me the worst thing that ever happened to you? You were fucking Jezzy and he paid you no attention… Jezzy continued to write his lyrics while he was smashin’ you?!?!You said you felt like shit when Jezzy invited his boy to join in. However, you fucked them both anyways…didn’t you?

• Why isn’t Sheila calling me? Maybe her husband is back home from Afghanistan. He’s fighting war and Shelia’s out here being a whore. She spends his military checks very well too…I know… she took me to H.Lorenzo it’s on Sunset Boulevard. Ask Emilio, he’s the sales clerk. Bitch gave me ‘the Clap” though! I fucking hate her, maybe that’s why Sheila don’t call me anymore…

• What about Autumn Rose? Why doesn’t she reach out to me? I’m a good dude…aren’t I? I think so…
  Hey Autumn: Remember when you were talking to Byron on the phone? I pretended I didn’t know who you were talking to…know why? I wanted you outta my fucking house! I wanted that dreadful bastard Byron to come and take you…I swear!

Funny how you both thought you two got over… idiots. I always knew you were going to slow Byron down Autumn. I always knew you were dead weight so I wanted him to have you. I never would have imagined that he would put his rotten seed inside of you. Happy mothers day!

First and foremost Jennifer Williams (a.k.a. Autumn Rose) I don’t know why you were both laughing… Nobody wants to work with him and you paid my rent for 2 months…didn’t you? At that time it was 6 thousand dollars; it’s more now…  I didn’t even fuck you…I loved that he moved you to the valley…that’s where all sweat-hogs belong!

Autumn, I didn’t care that you fucked up the white people’s porno movie. They were pissed that you didn’t let the guy cum on your face. The porno guys said you fucked-up their cumshot. I don’t care though. Autumn you got my attention when you canceled the Vivid check… that’s when you pissed me off. Maybe that’s why Autumn Rose don’t call me anymore…

-Pimp Jacky

(originally published July 8, 2009)