Halloween is for Tricks Who Give Treats…

by Jacky Jasper

After giving it some great thought, I have decided that I will not allow these tricks and plastic fake whores, to be graced with my precious presence. Moreover, I will not succumb myself to fall witness to senior citizens with bunnies on their arms. Know why?

Because they’re not paying me mane! It really kills me to see grown adults partaking in such a day, revealing that they like to play dress-up. I think it’s a day for guys who always wanted to dress in drag, and chics who always wanted to dress-up like a hooker. Many people use Halloween as an excuse to display who they really are, but are afraid to be themselves the other 364 days of the year.

I despise people who beg, and that’s exactly what we are teaching our kids to do on Halloween – “trick or treat, give me something good to eat” WTF??? But, Halloween night can be a great time to jack people. Know why? Because it really is the one day out of the year that a disguise is accepted.

Let’s take a look at some celebrity Halloween costumes. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went out as gangtas (okayyyyyy), but what they really should of done was drizzle apple juice on Kim, while Reggie wears an R. Kelly mask. That’s right folks, Kim likes golden showers – Just ask Ray J, he pissed on her.

Ryan Seacrest sported a CHIP officer costume. I guess he was playing Erik Estrada (from the 70′s television series “CHIPS”). I have confirmed, through my sources, that all gay men love Seacrest…preferably in uniform. I mean he did get his start in San Francisco…do the math. So, to keep it consistent, on this day next year, he’ll probably dress-up like Tom Cruise’s character “Maverick” from “Top Gun”. I don’t know what Paris Hilton’s costume is this year, but I definitely think the bitch should dress as a tube of Valtrex or a giant Herpes sore.

Here in Los Angeles, Halloween is the biggest celebration. Know why? Because there’s a lot of freaks out here mane. I’d like to take this time to address square mutha fuckin’ boys who like to dress-up like pimps, and the square bitches who like to dress-up as strippers and whores – I see you fake fuckers every Halloween, prancing down Hollywood Boulevard. You’re the fucks who are quick to speak negatively about the sex industry, come November 1st. What hypocrites!!!

Don’t you agree?