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Harold Ford Jr. Takes His Rightful Place @ Uncle Tom’s Cabin
by Jacky Jasper2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT
sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…
Today at Fox News headquarters, Sheppard Smith was sitting at his desk, he just wrapped one of his many daily telephone conversations. That’s when he motioned to Julian. “Guess who I just got off the phone with?” Sheppard asked Julian. “Hmmmmm,” Julian said. “The only President who really took charge of our great country?” Sheppard chuckled. “Good guess, but you’re wrong,” Sheppard replied. “I was actually speaking with Tavis Smiley, and he’s completely destroyed that PBS has him doing commercials about idiots like Frederick Douglass and Booker T. Washington. He’s looking to work here at Fox, and he wants me to put in a good word for him to Rupert Murdoch. Juilan, you’re so lucky to be working with us. Shouldn’t you be already at that beautiful cabin?”
Julian shook his head in disappointed. “I have some errands to run for Mr. O’Reilly,” Julian said. “To be honest, I’d like more than to just visit there, I want to live there. Uncle Tom’s Cabin is made for Negroes like me…the cotton fields, and watermelon patches are heaven”, Sheppard smiled.
During a democratic meeting in Washington D.C., Harold Ford Jr. was sitting next to Barbara Boxer. “I’m feeling kinda sick”, Harold said to Barbara, “I think I’m going back to my hotel suite.” Harold rushed to the parking lot only to jump into his HOT AIR BALLOON. The floating device was powered by a souped-up turbo engine to ensure the Senator a quick commute to his destination.
Back at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, the house Negroes were enjoying the festivities. Ben Harper began to tap dance for keynote speaker, Sean Hannity. Tracy Chapman began to sing “Wade In The Water” for Rush Limbaugh. (Because it’s a slave song, it’s one of Limbaugh’s favorite gospel standards).
Acting porch monkey, Wayne Brady, suddenly spotted an air balloon. “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck,” Wayne exclaimed. “Someone is arriving!” Beck motioned to the silly Negroes. “Calm down…it’s just an air balloon,” Beck said. “Fetch me my binoculars boy.” Brady did exactly what he was told, while Beck’s eyes peered at the sky. ” It’s Harold Ford Jr.,” Beck concluded. As the balloon got closer, it’s custom Confederate flag design was clearly visible to all below. After a few minutes, it finally landed right in the middle of the nearby cotton patch. Senator Harold Ford Jr. exited the traveling device with a smile. He was overjoyed to be at the cabin and join his true friends.
Glenn Beck and Harold were the first to shake hands. Rush Limbaugh walked over to also greet Harold, and presented the Senator with a plate of pigs feet and cornbread…paired with a glass of pink lemonade Snapple to wash it down.
After Harold finished his meal, he and Rush walked side-by-side into Uncle Tom’s Cabin. “Mr. Murdoch should have one of these cabins in every state,” said Harold.
Can you guess who will be the next guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in tomorrow to find out mane…
CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE 1ST & 2ND ANNUAL UNCLE TOMS CABIN HERE!
This series is the funniest shit ever… FUCKING BRILLIANT!
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This shit has me in hysterics rightnow hahahahahaha! not that fool ben harper hahahaha
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yeah, i was actually wondering when this fucken troll was going to arrive at the retreat, i hate him- william rabies
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“To be honest, I’d like more than to just visit there, I want to live there.”- has got to be my favorite shit of tha day!
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