Heidi Montag Appears in Playboy Magazine WITH Clothes On. WTF?

by Jacky Jasper

Heidi’s Playboy photo spread is coming soon to a news stand near you. Guess what? The critics don’t like it.

They’re saying Heidi is not showing any body parts and the pictures are truly lame. Why are the critics saying this about Heidi?

The critics just wanted to see Heidi’s breast, ass, and vagina … and can you blame them? Word is Heidi did not deliver what the people wanted.

I’ve never bought a Playboy for the “articles” and you’re a shirt-tucking asshole if you’ve ever told someone that.

Isn’t Heidi a Christian? Where is the Christian Coalition on this one? Cat got your tongues?

Anyways Heidi did a good job. Know why? ‘Cuz she got paid mane… Guess who’s orchestrating this whole pimp move? Spencer Pratt. He knows how to get gwop and you guys don’t really wanna call Spencer what he truly is – a pimp.

Heidi turned Playboy magazine into Maxim magazine and I’m not a pervert so I don’t care. I hate all them bullshit magazines.

The critics are the suckers ‘cuz Heidi and her bullshit pimp Spencer are getting paid and I wonder what Jesus would say? Spencer and Heidi are as christian as John Baker and Tammy Faye. Won’t you agree?

-Guru Jacky

P.S. Reports are circulating that Heidi will be doing a second issue showing her breasts. Hef even alluded to this when talking to a reporter at a recent event. The price that turns a fine young Christian W.A.S.P. into a true Playmate – $500,000 USD.

Why didn’t I include this in the body of this blog you ask? ‘Cuz I don’t count my chickens before they hatch mane….