Hot Celebrity Daughter Week – Quickie News

by Jacky Jasper

Pictures are circulating of Kelis and her new baby. Know what else is new? A man with her! It’s pretty quick after Nas right? That makes me wonder though – how “new” is her “new man”? How can I forget it was Kelis who said her milkshake brings all the boys to her yard.

Superhead and Darius McCrary are at it again – he said Karrine ” Superhead” Steffans is a total creep.

In case you don’t know who Darius is he played the role of Eddie Winslow on the television show Family Matters. Darius said Karrine would have sex with her victims and have the phone under a pillow so others can hear. What a Bitch!!! I’m so happy I burned her book and if she’s so disgusting what do you think about the men who have slept with her?

Hey Karrine here’s a number you will be needing it in the near future: 1800-273-8255 – it’s the sucide hotline. I promise you someone over there will talk to you.

Kimora Lee is getting ten thousand dollars for her new baby photos. Kimora’s son Kenzo’s father is Djimon Hounsou and we wish them all the best. I overheard others saying Kimora’s ex-boyfriend Russell Simmon’s sperm bank was not powerful enough to produce a baby boy. How would they know this information? My guess is that Yoga helps the mind and the body but not the sperm. Am I right Russell?

Miley Cyrus can’t wait to grow up and be a total whore. Know why? Miley performed at the Teen Choice Awards and she used a stripper pole as a prop. Soon to be whore Miley Cyrus was even swinging on the stripper pole and I must ask what is Disney going to do?

Jay Z and Oprah Winfrey got together to do a interview and it’s not because Oprah is a fan of Jay Z. It was a part of the deal for the Beyonce interview which was done last year. That’s why celebrities get married to each other and love has nothing to do with it. They marry to help further each others careers.

It’s Monday morning and I’m heading to the gym.

On that note…
Gotta Go…

-Guru Jacky