New Lionel Richie Album – “Live from the Cabin”

by Jacky Jasper

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Fox News headquarters, Gregg Jarrett received a Fox News executive order. That’s when he immediately ran over to Kelly Wright. “Mr. Mudoch wants you to hurry up and get your ass down to the cabin right away. “Why didn’t he call me? ” Kelly asked. “You were on the air,” Gregg replied. Kelly quickly left the office, making an announcement to all the Fox staff members, as he walked through the door. “Jane Skinner and I are doing a Shirley Temple and Bojangles act this year. She’s playing Shirley and I’m playing Bojangles… It’s going to be a blast – don’t miss it,” Kelly screamed.

After hearing Kelly’s announcement, Neil Cavuto walked over to Andrew Napolitano’s desk. “Our Negroes are having too much fun at that cabin,” Neil whispered to Andrew.

Down in Miami, Hank Baskett is dealing with depression after losing the Super Bowl. So, his wife, Kendra made a suggestion that Hank should take a vacation to Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Know why? Because she knows it’s a perfect place for her husband. Kendra immediately put a call in to Fox News headquarters. Oliver North answered Kendra’s prayers by giving her directions to the retreat.

Back at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Senators Lindsey Graham and Duncan Hunter have already arrived. While the pair was taking their first steps into the cabin, Wynton Marsalis ran over to the porch, pulled out his trumpet, and started playing “When The Saints Go Marching In.” Bill O’Reilly was taking in the tune when he turned to Roger Ailes. “Why did Miles Davis call Wynton a house negro, How did he know?” Bill asked. “Black people know who the sellouts are Bill… there’s a difference between a House Negro and a Black man,” Roger said.

Meanwhile, Shaquille O’Neal is suited in his police uniform, behind the wheel of a speeding squad car. Lionel Richie is seated in the cruiser’s passenger seat. Shaq put the pedal to the metal and looked over at Lionel. “What happened to the Commodores, Lionel? My mother loved you guys,” added Shaq. “I’ll never record with those guys again…it’s a chapter of my life I try so hard to forget…How can you compare a song like Brickhouse to a song like Endless love? I prefer to work with Kenny Rogers, and sun bath in Australia with Sir Elton John…how far away are we from the cabin,” asked Lionel. Shaq turned on the squad car’s sirens. “Real soon, Lionel,” answered Shaq. “I don’t want to keep Mr. Limbaugh waiting,” Lionel replied.

Acting human porch monkey, Wayne Brady, heard the sirens just before he spotted the speeding squad car. “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck, somebody is arriving,” Wayne screamed. “So why are you still standing there? Hop to it, and get me my binoculars boy,” Beck ordered. As Glenn Beck immediately peered through his binoculars. “Go fetch Mr. Limbaugh and tell him Lionel Richie is here,” Beck ordered. Moments later, Shaq pulled up before doing a donut on the dirt road. After the car came to a stop, Shaq opened the door for Lionel. “Have fun Lionel,” Shaq said. “I got more pick-ups to do.”

As Lionel walked over to shake hands with Glenn Beck, their hand shake was interrupted by Rush Limbaugh, who passed a plate to Lionel Richie. Two pig tails and a slice of cornbread filled the plate, which was paired with a peach Snapple to wash it all down..

Lionel ate while he walked next to Rush. “Can I record my next album here? I’ll call it Live At The Cabin,” Lionel said.

Can you guess who will be the next guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in tomorrow to find out mane…

VIEW THE ENTIRE “UNCLE TOM’S CABIN” ARCHIVE HERE!