Lohan Pimp Slapped By Her Man!!

by Jacky Jasper

So word on the streets is Samantha pimped slapped Lindsay for cheating with boys. Lindsay was talking to or seeing her ex-boyfriend behind Samantha’s back. Lets explore a little back ground of these bitches, and I might just have some advice for Sam……

Lindsay Lohan, the same little cunt who had no remorse, I mean she didn’t shed a tear about her father Michael Lohan being in jail. As a matter of fact she looked very happy. Her mother Dina Lohan was running the household with her husband out the picture. Word on the streets is Michael funded Lindsay’s career. He paid the money for it.

What did he get ?

NOTHING!

I’ve heard so many rumors about this woman Dina Lohan but why start, it’s only rumors, no time for that here. I will say this, Lindsay grew up in Hollywood and growing up in Hollywood you are exposed to a lot of adult content and trust me Lindsay was definitely EXPOSED.

I heard from others that she had talent. I saw her music video. I saw her trailer for the movie Herbie Love Bug. Its fair to say I don’t know her stuff. I am not up on her records, her movies, or what ever she does, but I do know she hung out with Paris.

The Disease Infested Slut Hilton. Oh yes she did! I also happen to know what her vagina looks like, thanks Paris!

Come on we all know she crashed her car, wrapped her vehicle around a tree in Beverley Hills. Leaving some cocaine bags behind in the car for the police (Shes Smart Too.)

We also know child star Lindsay Lohan was stalking her assistant high out of her mind on cocaine. How do I know this? It’s in the police reports. We all saw it on the news.

This bitch car- jacked some dudes hangin with her assistant. This black dude and his homies were just chillin in his whip and this coked out bitch Lindsay Lohan opens the car door jumps in behind the wheel starts the car. She don’t know these black dude’s. She can’t because she the same bitch that called black people colored couple weeks back, so its only fair for me to say she’s ignorant, a racist, or both! She’s definitely in a time tunnel.

So now she’s chasing another car and she told the black dude’s in the car don’t worry cops ain’t gonna pull us over cause I am white, they don’t pull over white people. By her saying that I can say she’s a fucking racist.

She chases her assistants mother through the streets of Santa Monica like she was on the HBO show The Wire. All the time the woman she’s chasing has the police on the line. She’s telling the police whats happening as its developing.

Lindsey ends up cornering the woman in a dark parking lot, until the police arrive a short time later. Lindsey is again busted with cocaine, she even tries to blame the black kids for what had happened. Claiming they were driving the truck pursuing the victim.

Its also fair to say that Lindsey Lohan is a bitch with at least 1 screw loose!

First time I saw Samantha Ronson, younger sister of Mark Ronson. Mark is a producer and Grammy Award winner. Samantha was playing guitar and singing in a rock band at the Viper Room On Sunset Blvd. At the time I think they were a Hollywood hipster band riding the celebrity she gets from having famous siblings. Seems Samantha is the runt of the Ronson litter.

Anyhow not a lot of people were there, the Viper Room was rather empty. I was with a hi-tech Asian piece (I don’t do much of the white or black thing anymore) and we had stopped by the Viper Room to meet Stevie Adler’s little brother Jamie. You know Stevie, he was in Guns n Roses back during the Appetite for Destruction era, Stevie went outta control and didn’t last under Axl’s regime. Steve Adler was way too ROCKSTAR. Maybe another time I will tell you some stories about Steve Adler.

Anyhow while there we caught Samantha’s set. I wouldn’t want to critique now, having to look back several years. I can’t even remember her bands name, I was too high and fucked up and it was all going down at the Viper Room. After our meeting was done my China Doll and I left .

Then Samantha’s name started to surface as a DJ. I never paid it any attention she was probably getting booked for $1000 to $2000 a show just guessing, but its a good guess. Reason why. When her relationship started with Lindsay Lohan she was getting a whooping $10,000 plus to DJ and promoters were paying it.

If you are not familiar with the industry let me tell you, Sam’s value increased daily as Lidnsey’s decreased. Promoters started paying fees Sam could never draw before Lindsey. Promoters were being sold Sam and told Lindsey traveled in tow. This was huge draw to clubs around the world looking to capitalize on the TRAIN WRECK that is the Lohan family (all of ‘em.) Sam was selling out venues everywhere while people clamored to see if Lindsey would do something crazy (a la Britney Spears).

Sam like the pimp that she is, has stayed on the road thanks to Lindsey. That is now starting to wear thin as people don’t care much any longer about Lindsey.

Remember awhile ago Lindsay did a few hours in jail. The courts gave her a GPS ankle tracker to wear. Lindsay even took racy photos of her in a two piece bathing suit with the device around her ankle. Lindsay Lohan was now a Hollywood bad girl, as her movies began to fail at the box office.

She recently attempt television and got kicked off the hit television show Ugly Betty her career has been in plummet like the American dollar. On the other hand Samantha Ronson was gaining fame and promoters were booking her to DJ. She was getting more shows, it’s a fair guess to say, her career got jets from her relationship with Lindsay.

Listen Samantha this is for you, we know you from a rich family. You a trust fund kid! We also know you the boy in that relationship with Lindsay. You the man sir, and us men Sammie, can’t be smacking our chics. We could get locked the fuck up for that shit. Listen Sam, you a true pimp, but you gotta recognize that gorilla pimpin is dead. You can’t be smacking ya chics.

Sam listen, all us true pimps know these Hollywood whores are 2 time cheaters. listen pimpin, you can’t let that bitch Lindsay make you blow your cool. She just trying to get your attention, she needs to feel loved. Listen Sammie, listen I am talking to you. Don’t buy her shit, bitches like Lindsay don’t appreciate gifts. Just tell her bout her spoil fucking self, make her cry, make her put her head on your shoulders, then slide your legs in that strap on, bend that little fire crotch over something, and fuck the shit out of her.

Sam, you better start fucking her better cause your bitch Lindsay is telling the whole world she ain’t a lesbian and we all know that she is. I’m a tell you like this, Lindsay is a BI-Polar Bitch, so when she trippin just smoke some kush. Make sure Lindsay takes her meds and things should be gravy trust me.

Some chics like Angelina Jolie, Madonna,  or Anne Heche there’s many more but those are a few names that tried this girl-girl thing and went back to men. Maybe its for the media sake I don’t know, but I do know if Lindsay don’t stay in check Samantha go smack the shit out of her.

Violence Against Women ain’t cool, it will hinder you on your climb up the Ladder of $ucce$$

Jacky 6:51