PEREZ HILTON OVERDOSES ON SPERM AT THE ABBEY IN WEHO!!!

What do Perez Hilton and Rod Stewart have in common? It’s rumored the pair now share the same experience of passing-out after ingesting large amounts of semen.

You all may remember hearing about Rod Stewart’s collapse during one of his performances. Stewart was reportedly rushed to hospital where doctors pumped his stomach. What they found was shocking – it’s said that doctors siphoned about a pint of fresh sperm from the singer’s stomach.

Now, HSK’s secret West Hollywood source tells us Perez Hilton was spotted at “The Abbey” (a popular Santa Monica hot spot) just before two o’clock, Friday morning. (Halloween must of come early for Perez, because he was sporting a disguise – complete with a wig, mustache and floor-length trench coat.) His thought-to-be incognito visit comes after his music tour “Perez Hilton Presents” flopped.

Our source tells us Perez was inebriated as he stumbled his way through to the back of the club, where the restroom is located. Apparently, Perez arranged for a ‘glory-hole’ to be set up in order to fulfill his fantasy. And, it seems that he really got filled-up – with enough semen to have his sidekick, Ben Russo rush the celebrity blogger to an underground hospital (frequented by L.A. gang-bangers after they are shot in the streets).

Know why? Because we’re told Perez started heaving and complained of excruciating nausea pains before passing out. We’re also told the group of Hollywood underworld doctors pumped more than 10 ounces of sperm from Perez’s stomach. Though Perez is suffering from hang-over like symptoms, we’ve learned he’s doing well. But, I guess it’s safe to say he ain’t doing that well emotionally (being that his tour was a flop). Maybe he wouldn’t have put himself in this predicament if “Perez Hliton Presents” was a suck-ce$$.

What did you think Perez? I mean, you know nothing of the music business. Do you really feel that you can wake up one day and become an overnight David Geffen? YOU NEVER WILL!

Know why? Cuz you’re not talented mane.

~ Guru Jacky

(Originally Published September 25, 2009)