After countless calls and several e-mails from our readers, from across the country and around the globe, checking in with HSK to get the real scoop on Tinsel Town’s night club scene, our staff has come up with a special series to answer the questions of our faithful visitors and wannabe starlets.
Starting next week, my investigative team will be going undercover to find out what’s really going on in Los Angeles’ strip clubs.
“Strip Clubs Exposed” will make its debut just a few weeks following an interesting night on the town of The City of Angels, which I shared with both my business partner and my homie ‘The Mayor of Hollywood.’ That evening began with a visit to the KUSH convention. Because we arrived early, we decided to kill some time at a local bar. We ended up at downtown L.A.’s topless strip club called “SAM’s.”
The minute we walked through the doors of the seedy adult establishment, I quickly came to realize that the majority of the chics inside recognized who the fuck I am. I witnessed one group of chics scrambling to get the word out to the others, to let them know The King of Hollywood was in the house. At that time, it seemed to me that the minute the word was out, the chics resorted to their best behavior. That’s when I knew that there’s no way for me to personally gather the real dirt behind L.A.’s so-called ‘gentleman’s clubs’.
So, my investigative team is now on the HSK payroll and working on the front line to dig up what dirt they can get for $20.00, $50.00 or $100 – depending on the story. Our mission is to uncover stories that may matter to our readers, as well as find out how dirty a dancer will get to earn her paper. Clubs will be exposed and the names of these dirty dancers will be dropped.
To be sure, if you’re a chic working at an L.A. strip club, remember that you never know who you could be ‘dancing’ for. Know why? Because you might just be ‘dancing’ for one of my investigators – Letting them know how low you will go for the dollar. And now with the ending of the month just around the corner and a recession looming across California, how are you now going to fork out the cash to pay your rent and car notes?
PIMP PENAL CODE #2 – Get In Where You Fit In. So ladies, if you want to be a stripper, strip. If you want to be a hooker, hook. But it’s a violation of of PIMP PENAL CODE #5. – What a Hoe Make, Da Playa Take. Know Why? Because no pimp would divide his trap with a strip club owner. Don’t believe me? Ask the Arch Bishop Don Juan.
P.S.: To any and all renegade hoes posing as strippers, you’re fucking up the game mane! Don’t you know Dennis will cover your rent and make you an HBO star if you work for him at Nevada’s legalized whore house “The Bunny Ranch”?
P.S.S.: If a man of color were to run the same operation as Dennis, I’m thinking it would get busted. Don’t you agree?
All proceeds from Mr. Gerber will be donated to dental charities!
Jacky's Social Media:
Looks like this is going to be an education that every pervert worth his salt should get before braving the sleazy side of the tracks. Someone tipped me off to the classic money maker the European strippers, who think they’re Einstein, have come up with, and it kept me safe in those dark dens of iniquity:
They lure the horny trick in, telling him the price of a dance, which is usually daylight robbery. Then they pretend they want to get him comfortable, so they say ‘you want to buy us some drinks? buy me a drink and we can relax’. ‘Here’s Stacy, she likes you. Will you buy her a drink too? Heehee’ And if you notice, they’ll labour the point about the drinks.
Now if the trick was thinking quick he’d wonder: why is this bitch is going on about a drink like it’s the most important thing in the world for her? Especially considering she looks like a smack addict and by default, wouldn’t even touch the stuff. In general anyway strippers like to keep their bodies in good shape, so it’s safe to say that alcohol isn’t that high on their list of priorities. So he gets his dance and goes to pay, and lo and behold the bill is for 2 or 3 hundred. Fuck that, I’m not paying, he says. I just had a beer and a dance. Oh yes you are, says the bouncer with the knuckle duster. The two girls had champagne, which is expensive-it’s all there on the reciept. Now do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way?
So if a stripper wants to drink, you say I’m a priest, or a Rabbi, and I don’t drink. Now jiggle those fucking tits and earn your dollar.
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