Hey what happened? Why aren’t some of my girlfriends getting at me? What… I’m not handsome enough? Am I under weight?
Am I a horrible lover? What is it… Maybe it’s because I’m all about me?

Is it because when the chic’s are talking I cut them off and talk all about my accomplishments?

Could it be that I judge them from the low life men they have dated and don’t want my name to be affiliated with such trash?
Most likely they want somethin’ and I do have it but not for them…not even dick.

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Don’t you ever call me a hater…know why? ‘Cuz I’m a Playa mane…

I’ll explain the game ‘cuz I’m tired of the phrase Playa-Hater being mis-used…

PIMPIN’ 101

•    Step 1

First you must become a Pimp.

It’s not an easy job I don’t know why you square bastards think it’s so cool to be one…

A pimp works hard…he’s on them streets mane.

•    Step 2

When a pimp elevates his game and gets more hoes in his stable he becomes a Mack.

That also means the Mack has a Bottom Bitch overseeing his hoes…the Bottom Bitch keeps them in check.

•    Step 3

When the Mack elevates his game again it’s usually when he saves up some decent $$$ and uses his contacts properly. The Mack is about to get Live mane….

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Don’t you ever call me a hater…know why? ‘Cuz I’m a Playa mane…

I’ll explain the game ‘cuz I’m tired of the phrase Playa-Hater being mis-used…

PIMPIN’ 101

•    Step 1

First you must become a Pimp.

It’s not an easy job I don’t know why you square bastards think it’s so cool to be one…

A pimp works hard…he’s on them streets mane.

•    Step 2

When a pimp elevates his game and gets more hoes in his stable he becomes a Mack.

That also means the Mack has a Bottom Bitch overseeing his hoes…the Bottom Bitch keeps them in check.

•    Step 3

When the Mack elevates his game again it’s usually when he saves up some decent $$$ and uses his contacts properly. The Mack is about to get Live mane….

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You may remember last month TMZ broke the story “waterboy qb – my genitals are in grave danger”. Peter Dante, husband to Cynthia Pett Dante who represents some of Hollywood’s biggest; Brad Pitt, Courtney Cox and many more, alleged that some guy threatened to cut off his d**k. According to the TMZ story Dante mentions’ talking to the man’s wife on the phone and that was it. Yea right… That’s not how Jacky saw it so we dug up the ball breakin’ husband ourselves and got the real story mane….

When HSK spoke to the husband, he claimed that Dante stalked his wife for six months after getting her phone number under a false pretense of “getting the kids together” for a play date in the park. His pursuit of the woman looks exactly like the Reggie Miller story with literally hundreds of texts daily – see below! What’s wrong with these guys? Do I need to introduce you to Vinnie Vixens again?

Apparently after six months of relentless pursuit, the woman met Dante at his family’s beach house in Malibu. Thereafter, Dante was meeting the wife in cheap motels, parking lots for “back seat sex”, or just about any quick and convenient place possible. He even got the clap (something you’ll NEVER get from an HSK vixens)!! This went on for five years before it caught up with him and the husband found out; OOOPPPS!

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Celine Dion is having her second child at 41yrs old with her predator husband Rene Angelil…How can this old ass couple still have babies? Fertility treatments of course…Isn’t Celine Dion a ugly old white woman? Oh yes she is…don’t lie…I think she should fix her nose…don’t you?

George Lopez buried his grandmother without telling his relatives…and guess what? His relatives are totally pissed mane… I wonder why George would do such a thing…Maybe George didn’t want to hear his relatives financial problems? I’m sure it’s hard for George’s relatives to get him on the telephone…know why? ‘Cuz they probably always calling to borrow cash mane…

It’s Wednesday and I’m heading to the gym…
Gotta Go…

-Guru Jacky

I’ve been trying hard to test Marilyn Manson’s gangsta and guess what? She’s got none…I said said some fighting words to Manson and it was her choice to ignore me..Marilyn Manson is just another big mouth…

She said if anyone said anything about her in the press she was going to fuck that certain reporter up… So I decided to cause some trouble and say a few words to Marilyn and she backed down… Some of her fans were like “I’m fucking pissed – Marilyn better do something to this guy or I will”… Even Hitler had fans so I’m no amused at Marilyn’s fan base – they’re just like Marilyn… all posers mane…

I really don’t care about this bitch she’s a drug addict… How can she be a master if she has a cocaine addiction?
She’s upset about her past lovers – in other words she is suffering from a broken heart…Meow!!! What a pussy she is…

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R.Kelly was asked about Trey Songz challenging him for his king title of R n B…Guess what R.Kelly said? “Trey Songz is a boy and he’s a grown man…”. In other words R.Kelly doesn’t have the time to play with children unless they’re young teenage girls…Ouch!!!

Buss this!! R. Kelly is dropping a new album October 13th and I believe you guys are all going to love it. R. Kelly said he worked with a few down – south producers from Atlanta just to keep his sound current. I’m not sure those are two words I would use in the same sentence, but lets give him the benefit of the doubt…

He would really like to work with Stevie Wonder because R.Kelly looks up to him and what’s wrong with that? R. Kelly is a egomaniac…know why?

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I told you guys Ray J is big pimpin’. I don’t care what you haters have to say…I already know!!!
Congratulations to a West Coast Playa name Ray J. All the other guys are riding around with men but Ray J is a fucking pimp. He’s got all the chics….don’t believe me…ask Cocktail.

You all have seen his television show ” For The Love Of Ray J ” – it’s about a pimp so it’s the best reality so ever. Fuck the Khloe and Courtney show…I can’t believe 2.7 million viewers tuned in the watch that square ass program! What were they thinking? These same viewers better tune in to watch season 2 of ” For The Love Of Ray J “. Know why? ‘Cuz Ray J’s show is better than the Khloe and Courtney show mane…

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Marilyn Manson’s fans are all STD dick suckers… Marilyn’s fans all think that they’re tough guys but guess what? They’re not tough. Just because you go to Hot Topic and love The Crow movie doesn’t mean anyone’s afraid of your 100 pound asses. Black lipstick only scares soccer moms mane….

Is Marilyn Manson into voodoo? Well that too is black owned just like Rock ‘n Roll…Assholes!!! This chic Marilyn got some real loser fans – they actually think this bitch Marilyn can step up to me. I’ll beat his ass…I swear!!! I’m the new press guy and I dare Marilyn to say something to me… What’s Marilyn going to do? Hit me with his shoe? This guy wears clown make-up…doesn’t he? How’s he going to kick me with his high heels on? Fucking slut!!!

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Estelle is saying Rihanna is jacking her style…I don’t think this Estelle chic likes Rihanna too much…know why?
Estelle thinks she’s a way better singer than Rihanna! Estelle wanted to be in the new super group with Jay  Z and Kanye…
She doesn’t see why Rihanna has that role and I must say…Estelle is a way better singer but Rihanna is much more popular…

Estelle honey, they don’t care about talent they only care about who’s popular and I thought you knew this mane…
Ciara got kicked off the Britney Spears tour and she was replaced by Jordan “Fatso” Sparks…

People are calling Ciara washed up but I don’t believe so…know what I think? Ciara is performing and working too hard for the wrong marketplace! First and foremost her record label Jive, sucks…That label is totally out-dated they don’t know how to sell and break new products.

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