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FIRST ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT
sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple

Tina Turner is so tired of it all. She’s going to take sometime off. She doesn’t want to hear about Huey Newton and all that other black stuff. She’s going to the VIP Cabin Retreat.

Tina is welcomed with a happy outdoor picnic by the Fox News and Friends. The Cabin’s landlord Sean Hannity introduces her to the other guests. People like:

Larry “I hate everything black people do” Elder
Jesse “Jealous” Jackson
Colin “The fucking liar” Powell
The Born Again Christian Prince
Tyler “Flip Wilson” Perry
Tiger “I am asian not black” Woods
Halle “I hate blackmen” Berry
Whoopi “I don’t need to see obama’s inauguration speech” Goldberg
Amy “The republican anal queen” Holmes
Wayne “I wish i could be Sammy Davis jr.” Brady
America’s favorite house negro Tavis Smiley
Diana “It’s time for me change into another gown” Ross,
Michael “I’m gonna get that black fella Obama” Steele
Clearance “I wear female underwear under my gown” Thomas
Lil “I changed my skin color and my nose, where’s my rich white guy” Kim
“I live off the white chic”, Seal
Bob “The house nigga” Johnson

The Fox picnic is totally hilarious. Tyler Perry is dressed in drag as Medea and he’s having a watermelon eating contest with Wayne Brady. Tears are coming out of Rush Limbaugh eyes, he’s having so much fun with these silly negro’s.

Tina is rushed to dine with Diana Ross at the main table. Bill O’Reilly walks over to Tina and asked her,  “do you think we can get Oprah?”

Tiger Woods replys, “not a chance.” Rush doesn’t miss a beat, he whispers in Ann Coulters ear, “Oprah’s head is so far up Obama’s ass it will never happen”. Ann replys, “her head is so far up Obama’s ass she smells like shit” both Ann and Rush start laughing.

Tyler Perry dressed as Medea is now doing cartwheels across the yard as Carlson Tucker cheers him on. Sean Hannity is telling Tina,”it was a remarkable time in my life when you showed the world that black men are violent. They beat their wives too”.

Tina licks her lips and fixes her wig. Then she replys, “that was a bad time for me”. Sean hugs her and tells her, “You are among friends now you never have to go back to them”. Tina thanks Mr. Hannity.  Sean tells her, “she’s a woman of class and Whitney Houston could never walk in her shoes”.

Halle Berry over hears the conversation and begins to cry like she always does. The Fox picnic is a blast but Tina is a bit jet-lagged so Brian Kilmeade is showing her to her room. Tina is totally fed-up with this Black History Month stuff so she’s going to spend some quality time at Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Other Articles by Jacky:

• WOW: DIANA ROSS IS THAT REALLY YOU??
• Lil Kim chosen to model Louis Vuitton at the Cabin retreat
• Whoopi Sure Loves The Fox News Uncle Tom Retreat
• Seal, of Approval from Fox News and Friends!!
• Fox News Jet Ferries Diahann Caroll to Uncle Toms Cabin
• Halle Berry might just win an Oscar at Uncle Tom’s!!!
• Amy Holmes is spending some time with Uncle Tom!
• Wayne Brady Buckdances all the way to the Cabin Retreat!!
• Jesse Jackson will cut your balls for Uncle Tom!
• TYLER PERRY Is One Rich Ass House Negro!

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 26th, 2009 at 11:17 and is filed under Black History, Uncle Toms Cabin . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.