Travis McCoy – Skates Up to Uncle Tom’s Cabin Retreat

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010
UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Fox News headquarters, John Gibson wrapped the show, and walked off of the set, before running into Brian Wilson. “Hey Brian, can I talk to you for a minute?” John asked. Brian turned around. “Sure what’s the problem, John?” Brian inquired. John looked Brian dead in his eyes. “Do you think that Catherine Herridge is a lesbian?” John asked. Brian eyes peered right back at John’s. “We’re all republicans around here and if she is, Catherine will have to follow the same policies of the Army’s – Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” Brian said. “But, why do you ask?” “Last Saturday was Ronald Reagan’s birthday…I thought about him all day, and I know he wouldn’t approve of such anti-Christian acts,” John said. Brian nodded his head. “But, Just like we have token Latinos and Negroes, we also have token gays and lesbians here at Fox. Know why? It’s all business John,” Brian reasoned.

Meanwhile in California, Travis “Schleprok” McCoy was sporting a pair of Dickies shorts, a lumber jack shirt and a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, when he decided to part from his band “Gym Class Heroes”. His decision sparked McCoy to put his knapsack on his back and grabbed his personalized skateboard before leaving the studio, in search of a place where he knows he belongs.

Back at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Tiger Wood’s was on the green, schooling this year’s keynote speaker, Sean Hannity, on golf. Just to the west of the green, T-Pain was modeling a ridiculous ‘Stars & Stripes’ top hat, coupled with a pair of outlandish over sized sunglasses, while holding a microphone to teach Senator Lindsey Graham how to use auto-tune. Lessons were also underway for Wayne Brady, who was taking in a ‘How to Read Slave Poetry’ class, taught by LeVar Burton…who was dressed as Kunta Kinte. Sitting nearby, Bill O’Reilly shared his amazement with Donald Rumsfeld. “Who came up with this each one teach one idea?” asked Bill. Rumsfeld the warmonger immediately credited Dick Cheney’s for this priceless idea. “Now, you must excuse me,” Donald said. “General Powell is going to show me how to hunt. I’m going to show Cheney I can kill more animals than he can!”

Some where in the dirty south, Travis McCoy was riding his skateboard at turbo speed…jumping over rocks, doing 180′s on dirt hills, while listening to “Underneath The Mango Tree”, on his IPod…

Meanwhile, Joe Lieberman was refused entry to Uncle Tom’s Cabin, by Oliver North. “Getaway you turncoat bastard,” Oliver screams. “How can we trust you? You don’t know what side you’re on.”
O’Reilly immediately headed to Oliver’s side. “We can’t let him go,” Bill whispered to Oliver. “He’ll release our location, and we’ll be on CNN…Keith Olbermann will destroy us on MSNBC!” Rumsfeld the Warmonger rushed over to offer his two cents. “Let’s show him what waterboarding is all about,” Rumsfeld announced. The sound of sirens overpowered the yelling, and all of a sudden, Shaquille O’Neal exited his police squad car, with a nightstick in his left hand. “Good job Shaq,” screamed Sean Hannity. “Now take him and throw in the swamp!” ” Feed him to the gators,” said Rumsfeld. “That’s where all traitors belong!”

Travis McCoy continues his journey, speeding faster on his skateboard, when he’s spotted by this year’s human porch monkey Wayne Brady. “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck, somebody is arriving!” Wayne announced. “Fetch me my eye wear boy,” Beck ordered.

As Glenn Beck put on his glasses, he took a closer look. “Go fetch Mr. Limbaugh, and tell him Travis McCoy is here,” said Glenn. Travis skated his way up to cabin, doing a 360 flip trick on his skateboard. “The youngest House Negro in America is here,” Travis screamed. Glenn Beck walked over to greet Travis, and the two shook hands. Rush Limbaugh walked over to the pair. “Excuse me Travis, this is for you,” Rush said as he handed Travis a plate of pickled pigs feet and a slice of cornbread, paired with an apple Snapple to wash it down.

“Mr. Limbaugh Uncle Tom’s Cabin is the best place for me to detox from doing all them drugs,” said Travis. “I know,” Rush replied.

Can you guess who will be the guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in tomorrow to find out mane…

VIEW THE ENTIRE “UNCLE TOM’S CABIN” ARCHIVE HERE!