Uncle Tom’s Cabin Continues…


Day 3 @ Uncle Tom's Cabin Retreat 2013

Day 3 @ The 2013 Retreat

The plantation’s attendees are filled with joy – as members of the Tea Party, Fox News, and the Republican party are celebrating their favorite time in American history — which most of us would love to forget.

Sean Hannity and his filmmaker buddy Glenn Beck are gearing up to begin the filming of their movie “Fistful of Apes“. They’ve got the perfect backdrop, but there’s one problem — there’s still few Negroes to cast. As the pair stood on the grounds brainstorming, Bill O’Reilly walked over to them. That’s when Hannity and Beck notices the Fox Newsman was dressed
like Steve Irwin, holding a megaphone in his right hand.

“You’re making a movie,” said Bill. “And there are very few Negroes here on the plantation to cast.” Hanninty raised an eybrow before speaking. “What are you getting at Bill?” O’Reilly turned around looked to peer over the cabin grounds and turned to Glenn and Sean. “We’re going to cast white people and go blackface for this film.” Bill exclaimed. “And I’m the new director of this movie!”

Meanwhile at the Cabin’s porch…

Mike Huckabee and Ted Nuget’s band “The Pillow Cases” are playing their instruments as Hank Williams Jr. sings “America The Beautiful.” All of a sudden, Wayne LaPierre interrupted the band as he jumped onto the patio stage with his “M16”, tapped Hank Williams on his left shoulder and said “I got something to say to the people.” Silence filled the room as Hank Williams and the band looked dumbfounded. LaPierre made his way over to the microphone to address the crowd.

People…I like Ted and Mike’s music…it’s all I know and it’s the only music I’ll ever need to know…but we have a problem…we lost last election because we missed the color votes!

The crowd began to roar in response to the statement. LaPierre continued to speak.

“Maybach Music is here…Ted, Hank and Mike as much as I love you guys Imma have to ask you to leave the stage because my grandson is here with his friends and he wants to see DJ Khaled. I know DJ Khaled looks like a terrorist, but he’s on our side…DJ Khaled and his Negro friends are now in charge of all the music festivities on this here plantation…Cuz we need more coloreds in our party!”

Suddenly, a loud voice started to come from the P.A. system. It was Fox News anchor Chris Wallace making an announcement. “Visitors are approaching the cabin grounds…I repeat…visitors are approaching our cabin grounds!

Paul Ryan was suited up in a sweat suit as he dropped to floor to do one hundred push-ups, before walking over to Wayne LaPierre. “I wanna come with you when to pick up our next Negro guest.” LaPierre turned to Ryan to reply. “Go tell Senator McConnell we got a darkie coming…tell the senator to order Herman to make one of them fresh plates for our guest…and tell my porch monkey Mike Strahan to get his monkey ass over here!

Senator Mich McConnell immediately headed for the cabin’s exit. He’s holding a lemonade drink in his right hand, padding his forehead with his confederation flag handkerchief – shouting, “LaPierre get over here!” As LaPierre walked towards the senator, he shouts, “Do we got one of them showboating Grammy Negroes coming?” Mitch McConnell interjected. “Justin Timberlake is coming! And, he’s bringing his buddy Jay Z and his Roc-Nation artist…we gonna steal votes next election….Jay Z loves money so much, he’s like the next Hernan Cain!” LaPierre screamed over at DJ Khaled, “Play Niggas In Paris. Now!

A fleet of Lamborghini’s pulled up in front of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Mitch McConnell – who was dressed like President James Madison – approached the vehicles saying, “These are not American cars, so I’m hoping you brought these Communist cars down here to be burned.” Ted Nugent shouted, “We like to burn things.

A car door opens, and Kanye West is seated beside a pregnant Kim Kardashian. Kanye immediately addressed Mitch McConnell. “We want to have our baby on this plantation…it’s special and I brought all my friends too.

Kanye then turned his head to address those in the cars behind him. “Drake, get out here and show some respect!” By the time Kanye West turned back around, McConnell hands he and Kim Kardashian two plates of spicy pig belly, stirred in curry, and pickled Muskrat rectum…with a can of Pepsi to wash it down.

Kim Kardashian smiled. “Thank you Mitch.” The senator replied, “We were expecting Jay Z. but we are happy to accommodate you.

Drake walked up to Kanye and said, “This is the place my dad was always talking about..Ye this place is better than the Grammys…cuz we started from the bottom and now we’re here!

Can you guest who’s next to check in?


  1. The mental picture of Mitch McConnell booting his buddies Hank Williams Jr and Ted Nugent off the stage because his son wants to see DJ Khaled, and announcing, “It’s Maybach Music Time!”; followed by Wayne LaPierre yelling “Play N*gg*s In Paris!” is so funny because it’s so true.
    The Repupukelians are so desperate, I expect to see Kanye give the keynote speak at the next convention, after which Kim walks out on stage, with her toddler Paris Nige’r to congratulate her hubby, the new junior senator from Illinois on his moving speech.
    Somewhere Col. Allan West is saying “Gottam! I was supposed to be the first Sen. West!”

  2. kanye wears his skirt.

    lil wayne wears his leggins.

    frank ocean gets a sex change.

    lala can finally admit her love for ciara and kelly rowland.

    kerry washington can strip and have white men beat her while jamie foxx plays the piano thinking he’s blind.

  3. Can we PLEASE boycott the yukmouth, Geico lizard looking COON that is Lil Wayne???? The ashy black, diseased infested, Molly popping lil troll had the BAlLS to disrespect Emmett Till in one of his songs!!!!!! That filthy black bastard needs MULTIPLE foots in his ASS!!!! Murder this nasty faced bastards career!!! I DESPISE him!!! Smh…..

      • WE CAN CALL THE MUSIC DIRECTORS Of your local radio stations AND LET THEM KNOW IF ANY OF Lil buckwheat lovin white women wayne’s music goes in rotation then they will be boycotted. Seriously the american public does not know their value when it comes to change. How dare this idiot disrespect Emmit Till. IGNORANCE BEGETS IGNORANCE! He should know better and HELL NAW THE ISH IS NOT ART NOR IS IT COOL. He prolly wrote the song under the influence!

  4. Dr Umar Abdullah said, “In order to become a rich black celebrity, you must dedicate yourself to destroying the black race”
    This is why most black celebrities don’t emulate Jim Brown, Kareem Abdul Jabbar or Muhammad Ali. They would rather be a rich sambo sell out than be an activist and role model for the black community.

  5. So TRUE!! In order to become part of YTs’ clique u have to contribute to their agenda, by sacrificing our race. To those who think that they have arrived by tearing down ur own, when they have no use 4 u,it WILL be 2 late 2 come back home…ijs

    • Can somebody tell me why the hell are we in the black community supporting this crapola? Urban Radio is the voice behind these idiots and I would venture to say they are paid well to keep certain music in rotation!
      They too are to blame. If we start tuning out that will affect the radio stations’ ratings(arbitron)

  6. Okay, time for a boycott of Lil Wayne, seriously, fuckin’ white ass lickin’ stupid ass coon. Fuck him.

    You think he could ever say something about the Nazis killin’ the jwes.

    His dumb coon ass knows betta.

    As I said, black entertainers is the new klan.

    • Exactly!!!! Stop giving these black entertainers passes! They should know better!!!! Hit them where they can feel it!!! Their damn pockets!!! I’ve already vowed to NEVER support ANYTHING YMCMB!!!! No Wayne, Nicky, Drake…none!!! I won’t buy any CDs, iTunes, concert tickets, clothing line (Trukfit can eat a d–k!!!!) even any artists that they collaborate with, they will get boycotted too!!! I can’t stand Nicky either!!! She’s as equally “UNCLE TOMISH” as Wayne!! They both disgust me!! Ugh!!

  7. I laughed and I laughed… Until I remembered that Obama sold us all out to the banks and military industrial complex… So sad.

  8. Justin Timberlake is a stroke of genius. When you stop and think about it, he is coonng
    and stunting in black face. He is a modern day Al Jolson, or Amos and Andy.
    I am not amused or entertained. This is the same joker who was in Ciarra’s video holding a chain that was attached to her neck. His black folk pass should have burned, with the ashes blown to the wind, many years ago.

    I also nominate Trina and Traci Braxton to visit the Cabin. Why ?
    In a current Braxton commercial, Traci gets pinched on her behind by an Italian man, and her and Trina think it’s special. I was completely floored, followed by feeling completely livid. Since when is it okay to teach non black men to disrespect us .
    We don’t take it from our own, an now these ignorant harlots, are telling men all over the world it’s okay to disrespect us ??

    • Being sexual with a non black man is disrespectful? What difference does it make? Why is a black woman being sexual with a non black man considered something taboo or demeaning?

      And Timberlake was pulling on Ciara’s necklace. Big whoop. Making much ado about nothing.