Whoopi Goldberg Hightailed it to Uncle Tom’s Cabin!!!

2ND ANNUAL
BLACK HISTORY MONTH 2010

UNCLE TOM’S CABIN RETREAT

sponsored by Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, Marlboro and Snapple…

Today at Uncle Tom’s Cabin, both the hosts and guests teamed up for their own version of American Idol — “CABIN IDOL” The only difference from American Idol is Cabin Idol’s contestants must all perform in black face, while Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter and Michael Steele judge each performance. Fox News’ Brian Kilmeade hosted the event, and welcomed the first act to hit the stage: Karl Rove and George Bush Jr. (who were dressed as RUN DMC; Karl was RUN and George was DMC), to deliver their rendition of “My Adidas”. The crowd got nutty when George stood in his B-Boy stance while Karl rapped. In the audience – Lou Dobbs suited up as one of “The Fat Boys”, doing the moonwalk, while Donald Rumsfeld walked around the crowd toting an AK-47 and smoking a blunt, like a Los Angeles gang banger.

Meanwhile, Whoopi Goldberg was leaving Los Angeles on Interstate-10. Before she left, she told everyone she knows that she didn’t want to hear anything about black history month. That’s why she said she took off on a turbo moped scooter to go to a place where she knows she belongs…

Back at the cabin, Bill O’Reilly received a standing ovation after he performed his impersonation of Barack Obama. This while Senator Mitt Romney was dressed as MC Hammer, walking around in his droopy Hammer pants and telling people “You Can’t Touch This.” – And, the waiters (T-Pain and Akon) handed out grape Kool Aid to the guests.

Whoopi was heading through the south, to the cabin, when her excitement prompted her to take out her cell phone and call Glenn Beck. “I’m on my way,” Whoopi announced.

The celebrations were well underway as the silly house Negroes gathered on the cabin’s front lawn. That’s where the Black Eyed Peas’ Will I Am and Ben Harper were happily Buck Dancing, and Hootie and The Blowfish’s sang Limbaugh’s favorite gospel standard “Wade In The Water”. When, all of a sudden…acting porch monkey, Wayne Brady announced, “Mr. Beck…Mr. Beck, somebody is arriving!” Beck looked at Wayne and patted him on his head. “I know who it is. Go and tell Mr.Limbaugh that Whoopi Goldberg is here,” Beck ordered.

As Whoopi got off her moped, Glenn Beck rushed over to greet her and the two shook hands. Rush Limbaugh stood by as Ann Coulter began to tear up. “Let me do it, Let me do it,” Ann pleaded as she took reached for the plate Limbaugh was holding. Upon closer inspection, the plate was blanketed with pig tail slop and cornbread. Ann handed it to Whoopi. “Oh Whoopi here’s a pink lemonade Snapple to wash it down,” Ann said as she passed Whoopi the beverage. Whoopi enjoyed the meal before walking with Beck to the entrance of the cabin. “I wasn’t there for Obama’s Inauguration and I don’t think he’ll get a second term,” Whoopi said.

Can you guess who will be the next guest to arrive at Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Tune in next week to find out mane…

VIEW THE ENTIRE “UNCLE TOM’S CABIN” ARCHIVE HERE!